So I left Skylar with M last night for the first really long stretch (from 6 pm to 12:30 am) so I could see a concert for a girlfriend's birthday. I was so stressed about it, I almost cancelled but M insisted. And, I realized I needed to go so I could realize that I could do it. That M could care for her. I think part of my anxiety comes from the fact that I feel such a great responsibility for Skylar and I feel very alone in that.
Well, I left at about 6 pm and Skylar was screaming. It was so hard to leave but M made me go and seemed quite offended that I thought he couldn't handle it. I left 2 bottles of expressed milk so he could feed her. I was stressed about how well she would take a bottle because sometimes she fights the bottle. I have been trying to give her a bottle of breastmilk every day or every other day to keep bottles an option.
I did pretty well all night and didn't stress out and tried to enjoy myself. But, I was racing home as soon as the concert was over. I knew M would not call and check in because he wanted me to relax and not think about home for 1 night. When I got home all was quiet. They were both sleeping. I asked M how it went and he told me she cried pretty hard for the first 45 min then fell asleep at about 7 pm. And, she never woke up! He never fed her, she slept the entire time. I went to sleep at 1 am and she woke up at 2 am. She slept from 7 pm to 2 am after a 5 pm feeding. The longest stretch ever. Dad sure had it easy! And, I never got to see how the bottle feeding went.
Anyway, I was relieved that all was well. But, boy did I miss her. This am we laid in bed playing and she gave me some of the biggest smiles! It is so exciting to have her finally responding to me, I cant wait to her to hear the word Mama. I know it is a long time coming, but it will come! :)
3 comments:
It's hard to make yourself get away sometimes but I think in the long run it's best for everyone involved. Most books say that it's much harder for Mommy to get a baby to take the bottle because the baby knows it's close to the source! You hubby probably has an easier time getting her to take the bottle because you're removed and not an option. Glad to hear you got to have an outing!
I'm glad you had a good time on your night out! And I hope within time you can relax more and more!
I'm sure M is perfectably capable of taking care of her!
:D
How lucky to have been able to go away and have some fresh air. It is important to be able to do that. I am not doing the bottle at all, mine refuses to take the bottle and the pacifier for that matter, so I am tied, but this time flies and soon things will change. Enjoy every minute of her baby time.
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