Well, more spotting this week. Very, very minimal so I have been pretty calm. If I was not using progesterone suppositories, I doubt I would even know there was spotting. But, the leakage from the suppositories is tinged with brown blood so I am seeing tan. I have been pretty calm this time since my Dr really minimized my concerns, and the last u/s looked good as far as the Dr was concerned.
I just want Monday to come so I see the HB and can sigh a breath of relief.
I think my miscarriage has really made me jaded. I don't allow myself to get too excited, I refuse to talk about baby names when asked by overzealous friedns (too early!), I am not ready to think about a baby friendly car (although it is sweet that M wants to start planning), and I haven't yet cancelled by airline reservation to Tokyo.
I am supposed to leave next Thurs, May 4th. And, I can't help but want the option to take a vacation if I get bad news on Monday. Is that morbid? My husband is leaving Tuesday, May 2nd for China and we were to meet in Tokyo at the end of the week. He is still going on the trip.
My thought is, what if I get bad news on Monday? Do I want to be all alone for a week while my husband is on vacation knowing that I could be there too? Wouldn't I just mope around feeling bad? Wouldn't a trip to an exotic locale to see good friends be a good option? Of course, I would love to cancel the reservation Monday morning after seeing a string HB and getting the all looks good for Dr A. That is what I am banking on. But, I am cautious.
Let's hope I never go to Tokyo!
Friday, April 28, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
I've Been Tagged
A fellow blogger, What's Meant To Be, has tagged me.
Here's the rules:
1. Go write 6 random or weird facts/things/etc. about yourself in my comment box and on your blog, then tag six more people!
2. Then leave a comment that says "You are tagged" in their comments telling them to read your blog.
It took me a few days to realize that this is what I am supposed to do, but better late than never. Here goes:
1. I have a Masters Degree in Latin American and Iberian Studies. No, I am not doing anything with that degree in my current career. Most people get confused by the "Iberian" part, but it just refers to the Iberian peninsula which is Spain and Portugal. Why choose such a field of study? Well, my mother is from Bolivia and I went through a long period in my life where I was fascinated by all things Latin American/South American, specifically politics and 3rd world development. I wrote my Masters thesis on revolutionary cinema. I loved every minute of it and am grateful I studies something that truly interested me. An MA has helped my career regardless of the field. Funny with my liberal beginnings that I work with a truckload of extremely conservative people. I don't discuss politics much at cocktail parties. :)
2. I love Project Runway and Americas Next Top Model. The latter is much more embarrassing. But, we all need a guilty, mindless pleasure, right?
3. I have traveled to 6 of the 7 continents. One of my friends is challenging me for all 7 but I really have no desire to go to Antarctica. I think she will go just to chalk up the 7th, and more power to her. I am not competing. I always tell her that Morocco doesn't really count as Africa and she gets so pissed. :)
4. I cry often. I always have. I am a very happy person. Most people think I never get sad. But, I well up easily...movies, books, TV shows, commercials, award shows, you name it. It feels good most of the time. My mom says it releases toxins and I believe her.
5. I am really fear aging. I feel 22 inside so it is difficult to come to terms with the fact that, in my 30s, I am no spring chicken. This was made very clear when trying to conceive. I constantly faced the fact that I am almost 35. For the most part, I don;t worry about my health. I am active and fit. I do worry about looking old. Shallow, I know, but I live in Southern California near the beach where everyone is botoxed and faked boobed. It starts to have an effect. I will not become one, but I can't help but start to get a distorted self image. Heck, if I moved to Texas I may scoff now but in 18 months I would have Wranglers too. Here is to holding out. Power to the A cup!
6. I love my miniature dachshund Rueben more than I can imagine. I have about 50 songs about him and I constantly talk to him. (I work from home so we have a lot of together time.) he is a good listener. Boy will he be sad when Baby C comes.
So, there you go. Now, I am off to tag!
Here's the rules:
1. Go write 6 random or weird facts/things/etc. about yourself in my comment box and on your blog, then tag six more people!
2. Then leave a comment that says "You are tagged" in their comments telling them to read your blog.
It took me a few days to realize that this is what I am supposed to do, but better late than never. Here goes:
1. I have a Masters Degree in Latin American and Iberian Studies. No, I am not doing anything with that degree in my current career. Most people get confused by the "Iberian" part, but it just refers to the Iberian peninsula which is Spain and Portugal. Why choose such a field of study? Well, my mother is from Bolivia and I went through a long period in my life where I was fascinated by all things Latin American/South American, specifically politics and 3rd world development. I wrote my Masters thesis on revolutionary cinema. I loved every minute of it and am grateful I studies something that truly interested me. An MA has helped my career regardless of the field. Funny with my liberal beginnings that I work with a truckload of extremely conservative people. I don't discuss politics much at cocktail parties. :)
2. I love Project Runway and Americas Next Top Model. The latter is much more embarrassing. But, we all need a guilty, mindless pleasure, right?
3. I have traveled to 6 of the 7 continents. One of my friends is challenging me for all 7 but I really have no desire to go to Antarctica. I think she will go just to chalk up the 7th, and more power to her. I am not competing. I always tell her that Morocco doesn't really count as Africa and she gets so pissed. :)
4. I cry often. I always have. I am a very happy person. Most people think I never get sad. But, I well up easily...movies, books, TV shows, commercials, award shows, you name it. It feels good most of the time. My mom says it releases toxins and I believe her.
5. I am really fear aging. I feel 22 inside so it is difficult to come to terms with the fact that, in my 30s, I am no spring chicken. This was made very clear when trying to conceive. I constantly faced the fact that I am almost 35. For the most part, I don;t worry about my health. I am active and fit. I do worry about looking old. Shallow, I know, but I live in Southern California near the beach where everyone is botoxed and faked boobed. It starts to have an effect. I will not become one, but I can't help but start to get a distorted self image. Heck, if I moved to Texas I may scoff now but in 18 months I would have Wranglers too. Here is to holding out. Power to the A cup!
6. I love my miniature dachshund Rueben more than I can imagine. I have about 50 songs about him and I constantly talk to him. (I work from home so we have a lot of together time.) he is a good listener. Boy will he be sad when Baby C comes.
So, there you go. Now, I am off to tag!
Monday, April 24, 2006
Feeling "kinda" better
That's it. I am destined to worry about every little thing with this pregnancy. If it is not one thing, it is the other. Someone please save me from my own mind!
The good news is,the spotting stopped as quickly as it started. I really only spotted some brown on Friday morning however it tinged the leakage from my progesterone suppositories until Saturday. By Sat night it was gone and I was happy to see the white leakage from the lovely suppositories.
This AM I had my 2nd u/s at 6wk0d. Based on a lot of others' experiences, I thought we may see the HB today. Because of the spotting I was super nervous and took my husband M for moral support. My RE assured me spotting was normal and said, "If you worry about every spot you are going to have a very long 9 months."
At the u/s we saw a clear gestational sac (much larger than last week) and a perfect yolk sac. My RE said that it is too early to see the HB and I would see that next week. My Dr said he saw a swelling that indicates a fetal pole, I couldn't really make that out and I definitely don't see it in my pic I took home. My RE said all looks good and we should see more next week.
I know he knows a lot more than I do but can't help but be concerned. I wanted to see it today! It seems many other people see HBs and clear babies at their 6 week u/s.
I keep telling myself that 6wk 0d is as early as you can get in the 6th week. (I saw the HB last time at 6wk5d). And, my RE and the nurse said oh no, that is next week like it is no big deal. M was there to witness this so I know he will not tolerate any stressing or second guessing the Dr. So, I must be confident, trust the expert and wait until next week.
Sometimes I curse the internet with its access to ultrasound galleries (where I can compare pics) and information on everything from blighted ovums, to missed miscarriages, to any doomsday prophecy you want to choose for yourself. I must stop and try to enjoy this pregnancy. That is my goal this week.
Breathe...breathe... :)
The good news is,the spotting stopped as quickly as it started. I really only spotted some brown on Friday morning however it tinged the leakage from my progesterone suppositories until Saturday. By Sat night it was gone and I was happy to see the white leakage from the lovely suppositories.
This AM I had my 2nd u/s at 6wk0d. Based on a lot of others' experiences, I thought we may see the HB today. Because of the spotting I was super nervous and took my husband M for moral support. My RE assured me spotting was normal and said, "If you worry about every spot you are going to have a very long 9 months."
At the u/s we saw a clear gestational sac (much larger than last week) and a perfect yolk sac. My RE said that it is too early to see the HB and I would see that next week. My Dr said he saw a swelling that indicates a fetal pole, I couldn't really make that out and I definitely don't see it in my pic I took home. My RE said all looks good and we should see more next week.
I know he knows a lot more than I do but can't help but be concerned. I wanted to see it today! It seems many other people see HBs and clear babies at their 6 week u/s.
I keep telling myself that 6wk 0d is as early as you can get in the 6th week. (I saw the HB last time at 6wk5d). And, my RE and the nurse said oh no, that is next week like it is no big deal. M was there to witness this so I know he will not tolerate any stressing or second guessing the Dr. So, I must be confident, trust the expert and wait until next week.
Sometimes I curse the internet with its access to ultrasound galleries (where I can compare pics) and information on everything from blighted ovums, to missed miscarriages, to any doomsday prophecy you want to choose for yourself. I must stop and try to enjoy this pregnancy. That is my goal this week.
Breathe...breathe... :)
Friday, April 21, 2006
Trying to stay calm and positive
Well, I woke up this morning to some spotting on the TP. It had mixed with the progesterone suppositories so it looked like much more than I felt comfortable with. Of course, my heart sank.
I called the nurse and she assured me that some spotting was very normal and not to worry. My progesterone was high yesterday at 49 so that is a good thing. But, I can't help but worry.
The spotting is not red or plentiful, I would call it a rust color since it is diluted with the medication. And it is not flowing in anyway.
I have an ultraound scheduled for Monday...can I make it through the weekend? I pray that the spotting stops and all is well. Oh please let me see a little heartbeat on Monday.
In the Frequently Asked Questions section of the packet my RE gave me it says:
"Q: Is brown spotting normal? A: Yes, this is common in the 1st trimester but please call the office to inform the nurse."
I am thinking if it is in the FAQ it must certainly be common.
I did not have any spotting with my last miscarriage, not sure how I can twist that to apply to this situation.
Please send good juju my way, I really need it today.
I called the nurse and she assured me that some spotting was very normal and not to worry. My progesterone was high yesterday at 49 so that is a good thing. But, I can't help but worry.
The spotting is not red or plentiful, I would call it a rust color since it is diluted with the medication. And it is not flowing in anyway.
I have an ultraound scheduled for Monday...can I make it through the weekend? I pray that the spotting stops and all is well. Oh please let me see a little heartbeat on Monday.
In the Frequently Asked Questions section of the packet my RE gave me it says:
"Q: Is brown spotting normal? A: Yes, this is common in the 1st trimester but please call the office to inform the nurse."
I am thinking if it is in the FAQ it must certainly be common.
I did not have any spotting with my last miscarriage, not sure how I can twist that to apply to this situation.
Please send good juju my way, I really need it today.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Up, up, and away!
My progesterone that is...
After only 3 1/2 days of using the progesterone suppositories my blood progesterone level went from 17 to 49! Since my RE is only looking for a level over 20, this is great news. I will continue to use them for many weeks but that is OK. Whatever it takes for a healthy, growing baby.
Well, this weekend I am golfing with my husband, Dad, and father-in-law. My Dad has just taken up golf which is great BUT he is very, very competitive with me particularly. To me, golf is not a game in which you complete against someone else, you compete with yourself. But, he keeps score like a hawk and is not always the most "accurate" while scoring himself. It really tries my patience and I tend not to enjoy the round. I do not feel competitive with him, but when someone is goading you and you are already hard on yourself, it just sucks.
Last time we played together I told him I did not like him trying to compete with me. He said he understood and was great that round. I was hoping for the same for Sat. But, when I talked to him today he said, "I am going to golf today so I can practice and be ready for our big match." Argh...oh well. Grant me the patience and tolerance to smile, let it go, and not call him out when he takes a mulligan, "forgets" 2 strokes, calls a put close enough then claims he beat me on the hole.
I do love my Dad, just not his sportsmanship. :)
After only 3 1/2 days of using the progesterone suppositories my blood progesterone level went from 17 to 49! Since my RE is only looking for a level over 20, this is great news. I will continue to use them for many weeks but that is OK. Whatever it takes for a healthy, growing baby.
Well, this weekend I am golfing with my husband, Dad, and father-in-law. My Dad has just taken up golf which is great BUT he is very, very competitive with me particularly. To me, golf is not a game in which you complete against someone else, you compete with yourself. But, he keeps score like a hawk and is not always the most "accurate" while scoring himself. It really tries my patience and I tend not to enjoy the round. I do not feel competitive with him, but when someone is goading you and you are already hard on yourself, it just sucks.
Last time we played together I told him I did not like him trying to compete with me. He said he understood and was great that round. I was hoping for the same for Sat. But, when I talked to him today he said, "I am going to golf today so I can practice and be ready for our big match." Argh...oh well. Grant me the patience and tolerance to smile, let it go, and not call him out when he takes a mulligan, "forgets" 2 strokes, calls a put close enough then claims he beat me on the hole.
I do love my Dad, just not his sportsmanship. :)
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
1st u/s - Houston we have a sac
I went in for my first ultrasound today. From my calculations I am 5 weeks 2 days pregnant. This early, all they expected to see was the gestational sac. And, yep, there it was. We could also make out the yolk sac within. The Dr. says that all looks good. I will go in again on Thursday to test my progesterone and again on Monday for my 6 week ultrasound. We should see more by then.
With my last pregnancy we saw a heartbeat at 6 wk 4 days so I am hoping we may get lucky and see that again. I plan to take my husband on the next one. I get very nervous right before the ultrasound. I guess I just can't forget when I went in last year and the Dr said, "Oh, this doesn't look very good. The baby is too small. And there doesn't appear to be any cardiac activity." I couldn't believe it. The thought had not entered my mind. And, I was alone in the office with my husband in Memphis on a business trip. It was awful.
I asked my Dr if I should be concerned about the progesterone and he said that the majority of his patients are taking supplementation. It is a rare person that produces enough on their own to meet the office's high standards. That was very reassuring. I am hoping for high #'s on Thursday.
Well, that is the update. No picture to post but it wasn't very exciting....just a dark spot in my uterus. Well not exciting for you. :)
With my last pregnancy we saw a heartbeat at 6 wk 4 days so I am hoping we may get lucky and see that again. I plan to take my husband on the next one. I get very nervous right before the ultrasound. I guess I just can't forget when I went in last year and the Dr said, "Oh, this doesn't look very good. The baby is too small. And there doesn't appear to be any cardiac activity." I couldn't believe it. The thought had not entered my mind. And, I was alone in the office with my husband in Memphis on a business trip. It was awful.
I asked my Dr if I should be concerned about the progesterone and he said that the majority of his patients are taking supplementation. It is a rare person that produces enough on their own to meet the office's high standards. That was very reassuring. I am hoping for high #'s on Thursday.
Well, that is the update. No picture to post but it wasn't very exciting....just a dark spot in my uterus. Well not exciting for you. :)
Monday, April 17, 2006
Update from Dr
I just got the results of my 4th beta: 3,996! That sounds great to me. I have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow!
One bit of bad news, my progesterone dropped to 17. But, I am goin in right now to pick up progesterone suppositories, so hopefully that will do the trick. Funny, I have been worrying about progesterone all weekend since I have read so much about its link to early miscarriages. I am glad we will address it now and hopefully in plenty of time.
Off to the Dr.'s!
One bit of bad news, my progesterone dropped to 17. But, I am goin in right now to pick up progesterone suppositories, so hopefully that will do the trick. Funny, I have been worrying about progesterone all weekend since I have read so much about its link to early miscarriages. I am glad we will address it now and hopefully in plenty of time.
Off to the Dr.'s!
Friday, April 14, 2006
828!
That is a doubling time of 35 hours, so I am very happy with that. So, I now have to stick to the deal with myself and relax completely.
As a side note, we got the results of my husband's semen analysis today and they weren't particularly good. The count was good and very high but low concentration, motilty, and morphology. But as the nurse said, it doesn't really natter now because it worked! :)
I guess what we lacked in quality we made up for in quantity.
Anyway...828...yea!
As a side note, we got the results of my husband's semen analysis today and they weren't particularly good. The count was good and very high but low concentration, motilty, and morphology. But as the nurse said, it doesn't really natter now because it worked! :)
I guess what we lacked in quality we made up for in quantity.
Anyway...828...yea!
Some minor overanalyzing
I hare been abnormally calm all week. Not half as nervous as I thought I would be. I am just kind of taking it day by day. I do, however, catch myself starting to stress, wondering: "Why aren't my boobs sore yet?" "When did they start getting sore last time?" "Why don't I have a headache today?" "What if my beta doesn't double the next time?" I do my best to squash these thoughts and I have been pretty successful.
I go in in an hour for my 3rd beta. I am hoping for great results and promised myself after this one I will stop being concerned. Three betas of string doubling should be proof that I am pregnant and it is progressing well, right?
I have told a few people but we plan to keep it as mum as we can to the larger world until we are out of the 1st trimester. I have told my Mom, Dad, and sister and 4 close friends -- the friends who have followed all of my TTC ups and downs and would be easy to "untell" if anything happened. My husband told his Mom as well. When I write it seems like we have told a lot of people! It is hard to keep secrets. :)
Anyway, I will post my 3rd beta results when I get them today. Wish me luck!
I go in in an hour for my 3rd beta. I am hoping for great results and promised myself after this one I will stop being concerned. Three betas of string doubling should be proof that I am pregnant and it is progressing well, right?
I have told a few people but we plan to keep it as mum as we can to the larger world until we are out of the 1st trimester. I have told my Mom, Dad, and sister and 4 close friends -- the friends who have followed all of my TTC ups and downs and would be easy to "untell" if anything happened. My husband told his Mom as well. When I write it seems like we have told a lot of people! It is hard to keep secrets. :)
Anyway, I will post my 3rd beta results when I get them today. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Numbers looking good!
I just got a call from my Dr.'s office with my 2nd beta results: 324. That means they have more than doubled (from 117) in 24 hours. So that is good news. I go in again on Friday for a 3rd.
I really like the extra monitoring that comes from being with an RE. It helps give me peace of mind. The Dr. is, however, very strict. I cannot travel in an airplane in the first trimester so I had to cancel our Tokyo vacation. Actually, my husband will still go without me for a few days since he was meeting me there after business meetings in China.
The Dr. also said no exercise or intercourse in the first trimester. Eeee gads! It seems overly cautious, but I will follow the rules since I am a rule follower. Hopefully the 8 weeks will go by fast!
I really like the extra monitoring that comes from being with an RE. It helps give me peace of mind. The Dr. is, however, very strict. I cannot travel in an airplane in the first trimester so I had to cancel our Tokyo vacation. Actually, my husband will still go without me for a few days since he was meeting me there after business meetings in China.
The Dr. also said no exercise or intercourse in the first trimester. Eeee gads! It seems overly cautious, but I will follow the rules since I am a rule follower. Hopefully the 8 weeks will go by fast!
Una Sorpresa! I'm Pregnant
I know I have been a very delinquent blogger, but I have good reason as I was in Brazil and Argentina for my work trip. Remember, this was the trip that was going to screw any chances I had for conceiving that cycle.
Well, not so! I got a positive OPK on the Sunday before I left (my flight departed Monday 3/27 at 3pm) so I was able to get in some babymaking before I took off. While on my trip, I tried not to think about it but couldn't help it. Maybe I had a chance!
Well, I returned Friday 4/7 and expected my period the next day. No sign. Sunday passed, nope. Monday AM I tested and lo and behold a positive! I took the test at 6:30 am, told my husband, smiled, and crawled back in bed. Very anti-climatic for such a 7 month build up. But, I am trying to stay cautiously optimistic. I just want to get through the first 12 weeks, then I will really start celebrating. I am, of course, very happy.
I called my RE to tell him the news and even though I did not start any treatment with him he offered to monitor me closely through my first trimester. I jumped at the offer. I went in for a blood test that day (at 14dpo) and my beta level was 117 and progesterone 25 which they said was great! I go in again today for another blood test to ensure they are doubling. Then I will have weekly ultrasounds. Perfect for a Type A gal like me. ;)
For all those TTC, I know everyone wants to know about signs in the 2 week wait (I know I did.) The only sign I had was increased cervical mucus (CM). A lot of creamy CM and a few days it was yellow. I have also had daily headaches since Friday. That is it though, no sore BBs, nothing else.
We are really thrilled. I have a good feeling about this pregnancy. I am hoping for a sticky, sticky baby and an uneventful 9 months.
Well, not so! I got a positive OPK on the Sunday before I left (my flight departed Monday 3/27 at 3pm) so I was able to get in some babymaking before I took off. While on my trip, I tried not to think about it but couldn't help it. Maybe I had a chance!
Well, I returned Friday 4/7 and expected my period the next day. No sign. Sunday passed, nope. Monday AM I tested and lo and behold a positive! I took the test at 6:30 am, told my husband, smiled, and crawled back in bed. Very anti-climatic for such a 7 month build up. But, I am trying to stay cautiously optimistic. I just want to get through the first 12 weeks, then I will really start celebrating. I am, of course, very happy.
I called my RE to tell him the news and even though I did not start any treatment with him he offered to monitor me closely through my first trimester. I jumped at the offer. I went in for a blood test that day (at 14dpo) and my beta level was 117 and progesterone 25 which they said was great! I go in again today for another blood test to ensure they are doubling. Then I will have weekly ultrasounds. Perfect for a Type A gal like me. ;)
For all those TTC, I know everyone wants to know about signs in the 2 week wait (I know I did.) The only sign I had was increased cervical mucus (CM). A lot of creamy CM and a few days it was yellow. I have also had daily headaches since Friday. That is it though, no sore BBs, nothing else.
We are really thrilled. I have a good feeling about this pregnancy. I am hoping for a sticky, sticky baby and an uneventful 9 months.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)