Well, more spotting this week. Very, very minimal so I have been pretty calm. If I was not using progesterone suppositories, I doubt I would even know there was spotting. But, the leakage from the suppositories is tinged with brown blood so I am seeing tan. I have been pretty calm this time since my Dr really minimized my concerns, and the last u/s looked good as far as the Dr was concerned.
I just want Monday to come so I see the HB and can sigh a breath of relief.
I think my miscarriage has really made me jaded. I don't allow myself to get too excited, I refuse to talk about baby names when asked by overzealous friedns (too early!), I am not ready to think about a baby friendly car (although it is sweet that M wants to start planning), and I haven't yet cancelled by airline reservation to Tokyo.
I am supposed to leave next Thurs, May 4th. And, I can't help but want the option to take a vacation if I get bad news on Monday. Is that morbid? My husband is leaving Tuesday, May 2nd for China and we were to meet in Tokyo at the end of the week. He is still going on the trip.
My thought is, what if I get bad news on Monday? Do I want to be all alone for a week while my husband is on vacation knowing that I could be there too? Wouldn't I just mope around feeling bad? Wouldn't a trip to an exotic locale to see good friends be a good option? Of course, I would love to cancel the reservation Monday morning after seeing a string HB and getting the all looks good for Dr A. That is what I am banking on. But, I am cautious.
Let's hope I never go to Tokyo!
1 comment:
Just wanted you to know you're in my thoughts. I think all the emotions you're experiencing are normal and to be expected. Leaving your options open isn't going to impact what you find out on Monday. If you have good news and get to cancel then that will add to your excitement. It's not morbid at all. Good luck on Monday!
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