Dear Husband...

...I miss you.  Please come home.  Sometimes I wish you gone so I can curl up with my red wine and trashy TV or The Boy With No Face on Discovery Heath.  But, I am over it.  Trashy TV is overrated.  And the boy with no face is sad (and you are right...creepy.)

I even won't mind you grabbing my butt all the time.  At least not at first.  Can't wait until Friday.

Changed my mind...my blog lives on...try to contain your excitement

So, I spent a little time tonight reading my blog.  Yes, I have been delinquent many times and there are often big ole gaps...BUT...it is so cool looking back at milestones and just what was on your mind on a specific day.  Especially when you have little ones.  So, I will continue...for me...for Skylar...for Beck.  No matter if anyone else reads it right? Right.

Beck is now 7.5 months.  Seriously? He will be a year before you know it.  He sleeps like a champ...is a sweet little soul.  He is going through a not so pleasant phase right now.  SUPER CLINGON.  He always has liked to be held...but now he is teething (always my excuse but we actually have one breaking through so I can officially use it) and I think it has made it 10x worse.  He only wants to be in my arms and with me standing.  Nope. No sitting Mom.  I put him down and he fusses then eventually screams like a girl. 

Good news - my arms are really toned right now. Bad news - I can't carry him with my butt.

Only exception to his fuss if not in arms state is when he is outside or in the car (loves car rides)I or in a stroller.  The kids likes to get out.  Also when I surprise him with an unlikely put down spot - like if I just plop him on the rug in the laundry room.  He is stunned to silence by looking at the washing machine or the tile or whatever.  I use this a lot - I stun him with something new and unexpected.  I used to do this with S.  She would be fussing in her room and i would do something weird like get under her crib - she would stop and stare in amazement.  Always worked. :)

I also just have to let him fuss sometimes.  Mommy has to go potty, make lunch for Skylar, get dressed, etc.  Deal with it buster.  (Ah #2 is so much easier mentally.)

M has been out of town in Scotland for the past week.  Miss him terribly.  Tired.  Miss him.  He misses us too.  Calls every day, wants to come home early but can't - 12 days 24-7 with your Dad could do that to anyone.

Other milestones...Beck  started sitting unassisted just after 6 months -- started crawling now at 7.5.  Well, let me clarify.  He can crawl but hasn't chosen to exercise it all the time.  He crawled about 7 feet to me the other night so I declared crawler in Facebook.  But, he hasn't taken off doing it all the time.  It is near though. He does fuss the entire time though since you can tell it is challenging.  He is a fusser.  Just like Skylar -- lucky me.  Thank god for wine.  Serio.

Might have to shut this puppy down...

...with Facebook, Message boards, texts, photo uploading and sharing, 2 kids, and a job - how can I maintain this blog? And, do I really have anything that interesting to say? Sometimes I just post things to make me smile or chuckle. Apparently I am the star of my own reality show. And right now the biggest excitement is a baby sleeping through the night and my first airbrush tan.

Oh, I did get incredibly loaded (in a good way) at my cousin's wedding and talked to just about everyone (while no knowing just about anyone) so that was a highlight. Apparently all it takes for me is to stop breastfeeding to get the license to pickle myself. And, I loved every moment of it...even the Father's Day Sausage McMuffin I picked up for M since I did not have it in me (huh) to make a homecooked Bfast. I did make it up to him throughout the day by making lunch, dinner, and allowing him a couch pass all day as he watched the US Open of Golf.

Back to the blog...it does show I have 7 followers but I imagine some of them may be the people who send me weird comments advertising products or from different countries. So, no big loss for anyone.

All of this web communication stuff reminded me of the Party Line. Yea, yea, I am dating myself, I know, but anyone remember it? You'd call a disconnected # and behind the rings or message there would be other pre-teens (I was 9 or 10 I think), teens, and perverts yelling out to you to talk or get your "real" ph#. Clearly the predecessor to the internet chat room. Are those still around? I just see message boards now. And being in those chat rooms inevitably led to someone with a suspect username trying to go off with you in a "private chat" for some dirty dealings. To Catch a Predator heaven, no?

And speaking of To Catch a Predator....haven't the Predators caught on by now? They air different versions of that show so many times. All great entertainment I might add as you watch a smarmy perv pull up to the house of a gal who is usually 22 but looks 12 and she offers him lemonade while doing a load of laundry. The pedophiles should be on to it at that point since no 12 year old I know aspires to be or pretends top be a hostess who does household chores. Woops, another tangent.

All this said, my blog is a winding down.

I can update all 3 of you (+ you advertisers) ;) that I am in LOVE with my little boy (yes..you can love #2 - TONS) and incredibly happy despite the fact that I 1) suffered from PPD (again!) starting at 8 weeks out (same time as last) and 2) my husband has joined the ranks of the unemployed (anyone know of anything for a very smart MBA grad from USC with Product Marketing experience?). But, the upsides are: I quickly treated the PPD and feel awesome. And, my husband is spending lots of time with us, not to mention re landscaping the yards so our exterior and backyard looks awesome. Thanks handy man!

Now for the obligatory picture, cause you gotta have one or two or more or a blog entry is really visually uninteresting...maybe even boring. zzzzz

Ta da!




My Munchkins. Love love love



Here is the wedding I mentioned. It was a cousin's wedding so you see my sister and brother in law, plus my cousins (all boys) and their wives,.

See I don't look that drunk.;) And, doesn't my hubby look handsome? Tan as an unempolyed man who golfs and works in the yard should be. No airbrush for him.

3 Reasons to be Happy

Love You Forever

So, I am exactly 1 week away from my due date and sitting pretty (?) at 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced. When I found that out on Tues AM I was thinking...any day now...now as it is Thursday afternoon I realize that it may mean something and it may not. So, I am proceeding with life as usual and still heading to Knott's tomorrow with Skylar. Let's hope Camp Snoopy isn' t the scene of a gruesome bloody show.
I must admit, I did search Google images for a picture of a dilated cervix since I know Blog readers love them some pictures. Although fascinating, I chose to spare you all since not everyone has a strong a stomach as me. And for those who want to see one, I am sure you know how to Google as well as I do.
So no news really on the baby Beck front other than any day. Yep, the name is Beck. Some may like it, some may hate it, some may feel mixed, but there ain't no a changing it people. We have committed at $20 a letter above his crib.

The really purpose of this post was the sweet thing my little Skylar said/sang to me today. We were getting in the car this AM on our way to preschool and she sang.

"Mommy. I love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my Mommy you'll be."
Yep, that darn tear jerker book made an impression despite the fact that I have only read it a handful of times Not complaining -- I loved, loved that she pulled that out.). Not her favorite (too long, too little action). It also probably isn't her favorite because Mommy cries everytime which confuses and upsets her a bit. An Almost 3 year old doesn't really get "happy tears" which aren't really happy. More like schmaltzy hormonal tears -- how do you explain that?

So now for a random unrelated picture because blog entries without pictures kinda suck.





It was supposed to be of Skylar but I just realized that I have not yet downloaded my pics to the computer. Will Prince circa 1990 do?

That's My Girl

On our recent vacation to Pismo Beach -- dancing on the sand to "American Boy." Yep, that is a white man's overbite up there. Love her.

Skylar starring as...

...Pee Wee of Andersen's Pea Soup. Who doesn't love a good pea soup?

Styling Myself

It must be because I am pregnant and can't fit into anything or justify any clothes purchases I am obsessing on what cannot be "fashion." It is my thing of the moment. I am browsing fashion magazines, blogs, websites, etc. And tuning in to Project Runway the ever annoying Rachel Zoe (I die!) and enjoying every minute of it.


I keep telling myself this is all for AFTER early December when I am no longer pregnant and I start my quest for being in the "best shape of my life." We'll see about that. I don't think I truly am realizing that I likely won't have much time to work out and where the heck am I going to wear these new ensembles? I am going to nurse so I won't be able to leave baby for over an hour or two -- much less don a new leather jacket and sassy strappy heels. Oh well, I can dream.


One thing I could do is style my pregnant self for my upcoming High School Reunion. Yep, I will be 7,5 months pregnant at the event (and 8 months because I have 2 to attend having attended 2 high schools. I would have opted for just one but my BF from elementary school is flying cross country and wants me to attend the one I would have skipped.)


So, while others seek to be in great shape I am just trying to drape my belly well and look as hot as pregnant can be. And yes, this is my fricking 20 year reunion. I try not to mention it because it makes my fear of aging self just cringe. But, yes -- it is 20 years. This Mama is a spry 37 years old.


In the spirit of the fashion blogs I have found (and appreciate that give you links to purchase the items they feature) I will do the same -- just to make myself feel like the fashionista I am pretending to be. I did decide to go all black without a splash of color as I was planning. I think All Black is a pregnant gals friend.


Simple Black Dress (OK, no link for this one and not actual pic. I took a maternity dress I had from last pregnancy and had it altered a bit -- shorter to make it sassier. This is a close approximation -- mine is a bit shorter - just above knee.)

Statement Necklace - Etsy vendor Ezza Exclusive http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31421906

Strappy Black Shoes - Betsey Johnson http://www.betseyjohnson.com/store/productdetails2.aspx?categoryid=9003&productid=7331&np=9003 (On sale now at Macy's for $109.99)

Black Patent Clutch - Hobo International My clutch is the bigger version of this one. I highly recommend this clutch as is serves as a wallet with places for ID and credit card. http://www.ebags.com/hobo_international/belinda/product_detail/index.cfm?modelid=135280&productid=1368119&sourceID=BIZRATE

For Erynn - Just click the images to buy either online.  Thanks!

I have an idea!

This AM, S and I were playing in my office and she noticed some black scuffs on the wall - The kind that come from shoes or something.

She pointed and said, "Mommy look!"

"Yea, scuff marks. We will have to fix that."

"I have an idea!" she yelled and ran out of the room ot get something.

I worked on the computer a bit and then I heard:

"Mommy, look! I fixed it."

This is what she did. Anyone need a repair woman? I may hire her out.

So very very true

Being a Mom, I see how easy it is to be caught up in the "shoulds" of parenting and behaving in an overprotective way. I do, however, think I tend to keep it in check and marvel at some of the parents out there who go overboard trying to shield their kids.

This, however, is coming from a Latch Key kid who watched a lot of TV, walked miles to the Mall and Public Library with my sister (only 14 mo older) when we were only about 10 or so, made our own breakfast before school, learned to do laundry at age 8, etc. But, I also had very loving (although young) parents and feel my upbringing was not one of neglect but one that made me a very capable and independent person.

Now, my mother, who had my sister and I at age 19 and 21 went on to have 2 more kids when she was in her 40s. She is now a grand offender of overprotectiveness and micromanaging, feels incredibly guilty for our upbringing, and has kids who are 16 and 18 who won't make themselves lunch.

I read this to my Mom and she said it was "cute" but I don't think she quite got it. I, on the other hand, can totally relate and think it is so true and speaks to the fact that modern parents need to be educated but also need to calm down a bit and let life happen. Life is too short to spend it fretting over everything. It's as if in modern times we no longer have to worry about just surviving so we make shit up to worry about.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED BEING BORN PRIOR TO 1980!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.


They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered
with bright colored lead-base paints..


We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes,
we had baseball caps
not helmets on our heads.


As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.


Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.


We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.


We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight.. WHY?

Because we were always outside playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on..

No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were OKAY.


We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps
and then ride them down the hill,
only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem


We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's,
no surround-sound or CD's,
no cell phones,
no personal computers,
no Internet and no chat rooms.


WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!



We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles, or just a bare hand and no one would call child services to report abuse.



We ate worms and mud pies
made from dirt, and
the worms did not live in us forever.



We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.



We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.


Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn't had to learn
to deal with disappointment.

Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best
risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas..

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.


If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!

Skylar says..."It's Miller Time!"

I have officially popped!

This is what I do when bored in a hotel room at night (on a business trip.)

The belly has arrived. Much bigger this time. I have compared to some pics of my last pregnancy and I think I look at least 6 weeks ahead of where I was last time. Bring onthe belly butter.

It's a Boy...

I just realized I never posted the official confirmation - It's a Boy! I really feel like a lucky lady. Two girls would have been wonderful but to be able to experience both (since this is the last fruit of Mark's loins -- and mine for that natter -- to enter the world)is a real gift. And I have always had a nagging feeling that having another girl would make me feel like I am cheating on my girl. I am sure that I would not have felt that later on, but that is what my "mom of only one child" brain tells me.



I must say I am thrilled to have the 3 year age difference that we will have. I have a true little girl now -- not a baby in any way. Of course she still cries or fusses -- once in awhile -- but those instances are rare and fleeting. She seems to be happy 95% of the time and very affectionate and loving. Bedtime is also a breeze which makes life good. I am sure we will have some wrinkles when little bro enters the scene but I am hoping her maturity will make it easier than I had imagined in the past.

As Big Girlness enters the scene naps seem to be exiting. The responses I received from her on two occasions this past week when I tried to get her to nap were:

"I don't want to go night night. Babies go night night and I am a big girl."

"But it's not dark, Mommy. And I am in my clothes!"

How can I argue with that logic?

The other night I was watching a little bit of TV (a rare thing -- this is Daddy's role) and she came up to me and asked to "snuggle" I said "sure, do you want to watch some TV with me?" (I see her do this with her Daddy) She said sure and she looked at the TV and said, "I want to watch the crabs?" Yep - she was asking for The Deadliest Catch on Discovery. I found a DVRd version and she seriously watched it for a bit before saying "Where are the crabs? I only see boats." So I fast forwarded to where they pull the crab pots in so she could see them. Daddy's girl for sure. Next she will make me sit through hours of Golf, Basketball, and the Tour de France. As long as she doesn't start watching Ultimate Fighter I am OK.

A good thing: I am not so fearful of #2 anymore -- excited to meet this little man. I think pregnancy hormones are just good to me. Could I keep them without the belly, butt, and fatigue at night?

Speaking of butts - mine is big. Seriously, only my butt and belly show signs of pregnancy (oh boobs too but they are now just normal woman size as opposed top pre-teen. ;) This is pretty good overall and in dresses and skirts but the bathing suit this hot summer is not kind. Owell -- you are only pregnant once -- I mean twice and I am going to hit the beach and pool -- no way around it. Look out for my Cannonball! ;)

2 1/2 with a 'tude

My brother in law snapped this picture right after I took away a smashball that Skylar was trying to throw down the cliff to the water where it would be gone forever.

A bit of a fit did ensue...

If this is what I am dealing with now, please help me when she is 13.

There are definite benefits of going along for the ride with this Mama's pregnant cravings. Today I needed frozen yogurt. I hadn't had it in AGES. And you are talking about a girl who used to live on Heidi's Frogen Yozurt and Golden Spoon back in the early 90s.

This was Skylar's first trip out for "ice cream" with Mommy. Am I depriving the kid? I think 2.5 is a good time.

Some Skylarisms

OK, maybe not Skylarisms but a few cute things to share...

This weekend, she let go of a blue helium balloon and cried her eyes out as we watched it fly up, up, and away. The next day while we were driving in the car -- out of nowhere -- she said:

"Mommy, maybe I can get some big turkey wings to fly and get my blue balloon!"

This morning I was patting my belly as I told my Nana how far along I was (almost 15 week snow, by the way!) and Skylar said:

"Mommy, don't pat your belly! You could hurt the baby!"

I was getting ready this AM and getting really frustrated at my new bad haircut (I don't even want to talk about it.) Skylar asked: "Mommy, are you happy?" I said, "No, I hate my hair" She looked really concerned and said "Why?" I felt bad for letting her see me frustrated over something so dumb. A few minutes later as we were loading the car she hoped on her tricycle and started doing circles and said, "Look Mommy! Are you happy?" (Hoping to cheer me up with her trike tricks) and I said "Yes!" And she beamed a big smile looking so happy she accomplished her goal.

Daddy got out of the shower and she said:

"You have a beautiful monster teenis!" As you can imagine, Daddy smiled from ear to ear.

Still smiling...

...today I went into the local bank branch to make a deposit and over in the private merchant area I saw a man making a transaction wearing a....

... FISH HAT!

No, lie, a baseball type cap with a fish head sticking out the front and a fish tail out the back. Kinda like the Billy Bass singing wall bass that my parents (yes! gasp!) have in their game room.

He wasn't even cracking a joke...just going about his day, making deposits or whatever, in his fish hat. I love it! It made my day.

I tried to take a pic with iPhone but realized I would be to conspicuous and it was my turn in line as I was reaching for it.

Found this grainy pic online that represents an accurate description of said hat.

Future Liberace..

...OK maybe not a gay flamboyant pianist, but I don't really know another famous pianist -- or any other one for that matter. Wait, Billy Joel is a Piano Man. Oooo, where is my Billy Joel CD, I could go for some "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant" right now. That may be dating me but that was old even when I was young.

Speaking of Liberace, I remember watching him when I was really really little when gay didn't really mean anything to me. Liberace and the Village People were just fun guys.

As you can see I am trying to do CPR on my much neglected blog. Not sure it will be ever worthy to make a book of, but I think that is a fab idea for those who keep theirs updated with beautiful pics of special moments (yep - you Shelly!)

Just when I thought...

...this blog's name needed a change, a new "project" begins. Yep, that's right. This ole lady has a bun in the oven. I am coming out of the first trimester "woods" and am currently just shy of 13 weeks pregnant with BBC #2.

We had an ultrasound on Monday and Wiener Watch 2009 was in effect. The results - it appears there is something hanging in the nether regions. The tech seemed quite sure but we will confirm in 5-7 more weeks with the BIG anatomy ultrasound. At this point, I am believing the tech because 1) they were right at this time with Skylar and 2) I saw something as well - apparently I should have a career as an ultrasound tech myself.

I won't lie - the thought of having a boy excites me - because it is something different and I won't feel like I am cheating on my little Miss. It really is hard to imagine splitting time, attention, and love -- although I know I can.

I must say too, my fear is beginning to subside a bit. I feel like I can and will handle it. Although sometimes, since now Skylar is almost 2 1/2, I can't imagine doing it all again. Life has gotten much easier and fun now with my little girl who can communicate and is very funny. But, I hope it just means I will be an old pro and craft veteran at this child rearing thing.

I haven't had the bad anxiety that plagues me in Sept-Dec of last year. Didn't return to popping pills despite the urge and Dr's advice. But, I know PPD can likely reoccur so will know it is an option should I feel the need. But, I am glad that I am going through this pregnancy au naturale. Even if meds are safe during pregnancy (which I truly believe they are.)

M has been supportive and I can tell he is happy at the prospects of a boy. I am also excited since eventually there will be someone else for him to replay basketball (OK I like basketball) and (God save me) football plays to for awestruck comments (other than "what did I just see?") Maybe he will find a comrade who likes the UFC -- although I hope not. (Sometimes I want to I call phony WWF on that stuff.)

I just started telling people - work, friends, more family. And, I needed to because I my stomach looks like I hit Chipotle at lunch and ate everything on the menu plus a double side of Barbacoa. Haven't gained too much weight as in LBs yet, but, my clothes definitely say something else. I already have trouble finding things I want to wear now we throw a gut in the mix? Thanks!

Anyway - life is good and I am excited to meet this new little person - possibly my little man.

Things I like...

Sleeping

Small dogs with cute paws

Bed head on a 2 year old

Bed head on the 35 year old man that is my husband

Me waking up lovely without bed head

Wine

Getting drunk with friends

Getting drunk by yourself (only once in awhile or you start to feel pathetic)

Laying on a chaise lounge by myself and looking at the remote like it holds endeless possibilities

Baby butts and chubby thighs (on babies)

Small cars like those in Europe that no one here would ever drive

People who can wear a cutting edge styles without letting it wear them

Comfy PJs worn commando

Rain when it is not cold and can't mess with my hair

Random compliments...even better from random people

True friends...few and far between

Hanging with my sister...nothing is more comfortable than that

Good movies. Really good ones that make you ponder life in ways that we should do more.

Chocolate...with nuts in it

Nuts...with chocolate on them

People with big personalities

People who don't give a sh*%t about what others think (can I get some of that)

Feeling a sense of pride and accomplishment about the life I have

Laughing...hard

People who smoke pot (they tend to be cool people -- at least the ones who have enough brain cells left to function well)

People who don't judge

Funny movies like Best in Show and Waiting for Guffman

Being excited about what comes next

My family

Dogs who run circles when you arrive home

Pizza, pretty much all pizza

A really good soup

Brunch with brunchy drinks like Mimosas and Ramos Fizzes

Play doh when it is brand new

Lip kisses from my daughter

Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens (not really but needed to know how to end this.)

Not So Terrible Two

Just when you think you are headed downhill....the sweet child returns. Magically and all of a sudden (since last week - and who knows how long this will last) my Terrible 2 ain't so terrible. No fighting getting dressed or in the bath. Naps have been pretty easy except for some dawdling (and never before 2:00 pm). And, bedtime has become pretty easy - she makes sure I close her gate and door, says "I love you Mommy, you (or daddy) come check on me?" I say "Yes, in 10 minutes." And that is that.

The best thing of all, I have one little mush mush. She tells me and Dadddy "I love you" all the time, hugs us, goes in for the lip kiss (much to my Mom's germaphobe dismay), and says things like "Family hug!" and "Friends!" when she grabs both and M and I at the same time. When M and I kiss to she laughs , points, and says, "You're friends!" Apparently I need to make the distinction between friends and "friends" soon or little S may turn into a kissing bandit like her Mama. ;) (Don't we all have our hussy, make-out with lots of people days, or was it just me?)

Needless to say, life in mi casa es dulce.

I did finally find a pre-school so my husband can stop comparing me to a documentary about parents in NYC who treated preschool admission like getting into Harvard. It was worse than stage mothers and very twisted. But, a sad (but often true) comment on modern parenting. I hang tight that I was NOT anything like that. I did have an excel comparison spreadsheet (but that is the kind of Type A gals I am) But, prestige, wait lists, income of other parents, etc. were not my main concerns. I just wanted to find a place I felt would care for my kid with love, common sense, and intelligence. Period. And, I think I found it - phew!

A huge stress was lifted with that.

Now, I still have the stress of working on baby #2 which is split into three areas:
1) Can I handle 2 kids, a full time job, a marriage, and a life?
2) Will my husband ever truly support the decision instead of just relenting
3) Will I ever get pregnant? It has been 6 months and I ain't getting any younger. I am starting to get pessimistic and am not sure to what length we will (or my husband will let us) go. I just want to get pregnant before I overanalyze and change my mind. Analysis paralysis can and does happen. I need action.

The End (my "better napper" who is supposed to be sleepinh just came in to see me with Play-doh in her hair -- I think it requires scissors and I must go.)