Nothing to hide

Well, I am in Dallas for a work meeting. We arrived tonight and had a "welcome" reception. I thought I may get through the trip without any mention of babies but that was not to be. Two people asked when I was going to start a family and two others asked "how things were going" in a concerned tone. The latter two were more "in the know" of my TTC trials.

I think I handled all conversations well. I never try to hide the fact that I am trying. I refuse to keep up the charade that making a baby is easy for everyone. I am also very forthcoming about my miscarriage. If I feel it is appropriate, I tell people...even acquaintances. Why hide it? Why keep it as taboo as it seems?

After I had a miscarriage I felt abnormal and "lesser than." All of my friends who had gotten pregnant had babies. No one ended childless like me. I was a tragedy, a poor soul. It sucked! Then, slowly I started to hear stories of how common it is. My sister....my mom....my friend...I had a miscarriage...etc. I felt so much better knowing I was not alone and that healthy pregnancies do happen after miscarriage. Often. I wished I had known that before. I wished I had known that when I saw the lifeless heartbeat-less image on the ultrasound and wondered why I was the only one who couldn't sustain a new life. Why I had to give up my baby dreams for the moment.

Talking about it helps. It helps me and I would like to believe it helps others who may be there some day or who are dealing with others going through the same. It is an interesting place to be. Lonely, challenging, stressful, and... natural. I want to be a mother. Plain and simple. Nothing to hide...