Not Rated G

So, the unthinkable became thinkable today.

Skylar has been obsessed with the Signing Time video after I popped it in once last week. What is so thrilling about sign language and toddlers trying to do sign language? Apparently everything! She squeals with delight when I throw that puppy on and she is becoming pretty darn good with all of the signs. Funny, because she can speak all of the words much better than signing, but she likes to do both and I am learning some signs too.

So, I put the DVD on in my Master Bedroom the other day so she could watch a little Signing Times when I was putting away laundry.

Well today, she remembered, climbed on my bed and said, "Signing Time? Just one show??" (I always say "just one show" in my attempts to limit TV -- so she has caught on to the fact that I think mimicking mommy is so cute.)

So, I said, "OK, just one show" and turned on the TV/DVD and hit Play. Much to my dismay what does appear but a good old fashioned adult film. OK, you go tme, Porn. And not that soft Marilyn Chambers porn. Real down and dirty porn. We are talking a scene that has zoomed into areas where the sun does not shine.

In a panic quickly jumped in front of the TV and hit Open/Eject and fumbled for my savior: Signing Time.

I had forgotten about the Mommy and Daddy Time movie the night before and just assumed that Oswald, Elmo, or Signing Time was in the DVD as always.

My husband was there and thought it was quite funny. He swore to me what I thought was a never ending freeze frame of baby scarring filth was about 2.5 seconds and of no consequence to our little gal. I looked in her eyes and could see all she was wondering was, "Where is Signing Time?"

Phew!

"Two in December!"

That is what my little gals says when people ask how old she is. Apparently that is what I always say. She is my little parrot. She also says "Shoot!" and "Holy Moley!" Apparently I am a total dork.

Here is my supergirl making the "world's tallest block tower." Let's hope she doesn't aspire to have those the big plates of meat feet that fit into my slippers she's wearing.

Here is a pic I love because it signifies Daddy love which means a bit of Mommy break. It took some time to get here and now it is oh so sweet.

Listening skills

Men don't have them. Correction. Husbands don't have them. And this is made worse by TV, sports, commercials, commercials about sports, etc.

I have resigned to the fact that M tunes me out. Often. More often then he should. He knows it. He's sorry. It continues. I accept it.

I seriously don't hold it against him (most of the time) since I am a chatter box (Official title received in First Grade). I talk. I like to share things. Sometimes I feel like if I don't tell people things it didn't happen.

Funny thing is, M likes to talk too. But, I listen. I know about all his friends at work and from business school. I remind him who recently got married, who had another baby. "Guys don't talk about those things, " he says. Really? A new baby does not make it into the conversation? Even when you spent all day drinking with them at a USC tail gate? Wow, men and women are different. I can't go too long without a Skylar mention or tale. It is just such a huge part of my life.

Well anyway...this is just a lead up to a story that struck me as very funny. Last night we visited friends with a 10 day old baby girl. We were walking up their front walk, me with a lasagna in hand, M with the girl in arms. As we were walking I see a big spider web with a big spider in it, head high on M's side of the sidewalk.

I say, "Watch out for the big spider.!"

No response. (I assume he sees it)

As heeds straight for it I say, "Whoa, you are walking right into it!"

He responds, "What?! Where?!" as he nicks the side of the web with his head -- a near miss.

"It was right there."

He turns and sees it and says, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did."

"You didn't tell me I was walking toward it."

"I said 'watch out for the spider'."

"Well you didn't say it was right where I was walking." (Scrambling to find a way to blame me without admitting he tuned me out.)

"I wouldn't have said 'watch out' I would have said -- hey look at that spider'."

But, I am convinced this is all he hears when I speak.

http://video.yahoo.com/watch/3842279/10491600

;)

TAGGED

I have been tagged by a sassy fellow Mom blogger (who I'll call Dirty ;) that I know better online than I do in person. Hopefully that will change some day. Ah the crazy world of virtual friendships...

1. Where is your cell phone? On the desk next to me

2. Where is your significant other? Golfing but he calls it working. Must be nice...

3. Your hair color? Med brown although I have been called red

4. Your mother's name? Martha aka Marti

5. Your father's name? Edward aka Tony

6. Your favorite thing, not person? Wine and family. My iPhone

7. Your dream last night? I can't remember although I had a dream the night before that M and I were also married to another couple - WTF?

8. Your dream goal? To be content in the present without always thinking about "what's next?"

9. The room you're in? Home office at my Nana's house

10. Your hobby? Before or after I became a Mom? Before: Golf, reading, writing, wine, yoga. After: Wine is the only one that made it through...

11. Your fear? Not being able to handle it all. Death and aging

12. Where do you want to be in six years? Enjoying my family and doing a job that I find more personally satisfying. Own business perhaps...

13. Where were you last night? Driving back from a work trip in San Diego then arriving home to my family -- the best

14. What you’re not? Lazy

15. One of your wish list items? A Jacuzzi or a bathtub that fits my tall self comfortably

16. Where you grew up? Cerritos and Irvine

17. The last thing you did? Read a book and sang a song before I put my daughter down for her nap

18. What are you wearing? Shorts, blouse, beige jacket, and pink fuzzy socks (no I am not retarded)

19. Your TV? What about it?

20. Your pet? Rueben -- the best dog ever if you don't factor in obedience. He is at my Mom's - we have joint custody

21. Your computer? Overused

22. Your mood? Generally happy -- even jolly -- recently a bit stressed

23. Missing someone? I miss a lot of people if I sit down and think about them. Time and friends move too fast

24. Your car? Maggie. A little clunky but gets the job done

25. Something you’re not wearing? Shoes

27. Your summer? Busy - too busy

28. Love someone? Oh yes

29. Your favorite color? Purple

30. When is the last time you laughed? This morning when my daughter heard my husband's shower end and she said "I want to see it" and I said "what?" 'The penis"

31. Last time you cried? Last week when I saw my 16 year old sister's school assignment that asked "Who is your role model" and it said "my sisters"

Sick sick sick

Yep, Skylar was sick. High fever that reached 104.5. A bit scary but I remained pretty calm. I think our past which includes ER rooms, 10 nights at CHOC, and emergency surgery makes the small stuff seem just that...small.

I am still however an information junkie, internet researcher, and apparently master diagnostician. She had Roseola which I guessed and confirmed. The good thing about that illness is that despite the high fever and goofy spots that look like you drew them on with a red pen for a Pippi Longstocking Halloween costume, Skylar remained in pretty good spirits throughout.

Roseola -- that's off my back. Onto the Terrible Twos...which I think are knocking at my door because a new high pitch scream has emerged which makes me cringe and want to hide in public places lest people think I am one of "THOSE parents" with no control. I am doing my best to discourage it but sometimes M and I can't help but laugh.

Below are some pics of my sick girl. Whatta Ham...

Who's the Boss?

No, not Tony Danza...Skylar C. It seems that in the past 2 weeks her language has exploded even more. M came back from his work trip in Spain and commented that he came back to a full blown little person.

With language she has gotten pretty bossy, in a cute way. She wanted something to drink and I said,

"OK, I'll get it."

S: "No, sit down Mommy. I get it."

Then she walked to the fridge and started pulling on the handle and said, "ooo, heavy, heavy. Mommy help you?"

So I helped her out. Then she said, "Thank you Mommy."

This morning we were getting in the car to head to my Nana's and she said,

"I want Baby."

So I went in the house and got her doll.

When I returned she said, "Otro Baby!" (My bilingual girl)

I asked, "Baby Susi or Little Baby?"

S: "Little Baby!"

So I went to get Little Baby (which is a scary mutant baby who has no hands or feet courtesy of my dog Rueben.)

When I returned with the Mutant she said, "No! Little Baby Susi!"

Now this is not so cute. But, I got damn Susi and we took off in the car where she made me sing "Jingle Bell Rock" for much of the way. If I stopped she yelled, "Mas Jingle Bell!"

We are working on the "Please" and a better tone for requests -- I promise. She has "Thank you" and "No Thank you" down though.

But, you tend to forget the bossiness when you are driving, sneeze and hear a little voice behind you say, "Bless you."

Motherhood is awesome.

What a way to wake up

I love how kids wake up so happy. This is how I found Skylar after her nap yesterday. What a cutie. Couple that with how much she is talking: "Thank you Mommy for the juicy grapes" was a sentence I received on Friday.

Right now she is obsessed with a baby doll in a stroller and pushes it around, tells the baby "Don't Do That!" tells me she is changing her diaper or "Shhh! Baby is sleeping." Where do little girl's naturally get that? Some serious hard wiring in the genes I tell you because I have not pushed dolls or stressed those behaviors. It is adorable regardless of where it comes from.

Here is an interesting story which makes me think my kid is psychic...

When I was a little girl, I used to pretend that hills we saw in the distance were dinosaurs from the prehistoric ages that laid down to die and were covered with dirt, etc. as time went on. I am not sure where I got or heard that or if I made it up. But, I used to always think it.

I have never shared that with Skylar and we don't really have anything dinosaur related in our house except for 1 book.

Well, we were driving on the 405 near Shady Canyon and there are dry grassy hills off the freeway. She looks at the window and says, "Mommy, look! Dinosaurs!" WTF!!???

A little kindred spirit. I love that girl.

Skylar picked a winner!

So, Skylar's older boyfriend is a gentleman too. Skylar attended his 5th B-day party and got him a Transformer. This is what she received in the mail.

His Mom is/was a school teacher so it makes some sense.

Note to self: Have Skylar do this when she gets older. So, cute and thoughtful.

My niece is 3 months old

...and I am a proud Auntie. She is about the best baby I have ever seen. So mellow and a great sleeper. Hopefully if I have another I he/she will have an easy temperament (fingers crossed.)

Skylar loves to spaz out and dance in front of Charlotte and she just smiles and smiles at her big cousin. The start of a wonderful relationship I think... If she and Skylar are half as close as my sister and me, I will be eternally grateful.

Speaking of #2, I got M on board for another baby. Well, he may not be "on board", more like hanging on to the rear bumper but he's on there. He gave in for me, but I will take it because life is full of compromises and I don't think he'll great...I know he won't.

Now that it is a reality and I didn't refill my RX that I was supposed to start yesterday, I am not sure how I am feeling. Excited, yes. Afraid, you betcha.

I worry that it will not happen again for us after 7 months trying for S and a few more years under my belt. I am afraid of another miscarriage. I am afraid of splitting my time and attention with another child because it seems hard to imagine. I am afraid of the first three months and a crying and fussy baby. I am afraid about how I can juggle work, a home, a toddler, and a newborn without feeling like a hot mess.

But, when I think of Skylar kissing her little bro or sis, future family vacations, and Christmas vacations home from college I know it is the right thing for us. I cannot imagine life without my daughter nor do I want to. Having her has brought a lot of happiness and (strangely enough) tranquility. You only live once...you better live it up.

Oh Wise One

This AM Skylar and I were having breakfast. I was eating a half of an Everything Bagel with cream cheese. Skylar points at my bagel and says, "Birdseed Pizza." I looked at it and agreed. ;)

My little stinker..

...and nudist.

Caught being naked and naughty.

How do you get mad at this girl?

You like my Photoshop skills?

So Delinquent...

But 3 big excuses:

1- Mother in Law was in town. And although she did not sleep at our house (she stayed at a friend's who is going through a divorce) she was and is all encompassing when she is around. With gold lame kitten heels and bedazzled blouses in hand she can talk the paint off the walls and invade all semblance of person space. But, I love her regardless, just am always a bit happy when she flies away.

Here we are at our one night on the town sans sweet pea. The Improv -- there are few things I love as much as comedy shows, massages are one, and the others shall rename nameless.

2 - Work trip. Yada yada. But, another confidence building event for me leaving the little gal with her Daddy. They did just fine while Mom worked until all hours and stayed at the Doubletree in LA. Not fancy but good cookies.

3- Stomach Flu. I would post a pic of the excretions from all three of us, but that would not be in good taste. In better taste is a montage of the past few weeks...some good times were weaved in. ;)

Future musician at her toddler play class

With my sister and cousin doing girlie stuff like hair

With Daddy

With Mommy

A girl and her dog -- not to mention my two babies

The OC Fair

We try to hit the OC Fair every year. We got engaged there 5 years ago. My poor hubby did not think that when he planned an unlikely spot for a proposal (because I was expecting it and I knew he hates the Fair) I don't think he realized himself he was doomed for a reunion every year. But, he always makes it worthwhile with some beers and fair fare ...Gyros, BBQ Beef, Funnel Cake...all the things the Fair is good for.

This was Skylar's first year and although I do think she is a little too young to enjoy the Fair, she was great and had fun. I don't think she was aware of all of the mullets and tattooed muffin tops around her -- thank God for being only 19 months...

Here are some highlights...

This little dude had soem serious stalker tendencies. Skylar told hime she would consider if he would loose the Hawaiian shirt

One of the Greatest Days ever...

Well, today, July 23, 2008 is a day to remember for me as a mother. It was a great day in general. Skylar woke up happy and while I was changing her over night diaper touched her privates, said "Jay jay" (because I taught her Vajayjay for vagina, then said --"oops no touching" because that is what I saw when I am afraid she may grab a handful of poop. That girl doesn't miss a beat..

It was early when she woke so she and I snuggled in the AM and watched Zooboomafo in bed for a half hour. Then, I showed her the new BOB stroller that was delivered yesterday and put together last night. She was so excited and climbed right in so I could give her a twirl around the house. She didn't want to get out.

Our sitter Paola took her to the park in it and she told me that she S showed all of her little friends her new stroller and said "Mine!" I took her for a power walk/jog later after work and she was so happy and singing "Bob! Bob!" - I told her that was the stroller's name.

Before her bath she pee pee'd on the potty for the first time. M and I danced around and she was so pleased with herself. Then, when she was in the bath and she all of a sudden stood up and came towards me. I thought she wanted to get out. She smiled and hugged me -- all wet and bubbly. Then, she just said "I Wuv You." That was it...the greatest moment to date as a mother. An unprompted, spontaneous "i wuv you" from a wet and bubbly 19 month old with a big smile. She saw my happy tears and did it three more times. M came in to see the commotion and she told him as well (with a little prompting -- but still cute.)

I thought the potty would make my day, but nope -- that one falls by the wayside. My kid can have poopy pants until they are 19...as long as they say "I Wuv You" and give me a hug.

Just one of those days you wait for...and it is as good as they say...

Schmaltzo-rama

I hadn't cried this much since I saw Ernest Goes to Camp in 9th grade. SO maybe this is an oldie and others have seen it years ago, but it is new to me and I loved it. A true tale of friendship and animal love, of which I am a firm believer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiGKWoJi5qM

Watch it, tear up, send it on...

Oh, and here is a cute pic of my gal to throw into the mix...another thing to give you warm fuzzies.

Papa returns to the Chapel

Well, my pops got married...again. This is his 4th marriage and I hope it is a keeper. As cynical as I sound, I do wish him happiness and he seems quite happy. You have to commend his optimism, right? Funny thing is, his parents were married over 50 years when my Grandpa (his father) died. My Dad is one of 4 boys. His younger brother was only married once and never re-married. Between the three others they have 13 ex-wives. Yep...they are averaging approx 4.5 wives each. Does that mean my Dad's next wife will be a midget? (OK, bad joke!)


Here are some pics of my sister and me (with the hubbies) at the wedding. (Haven't gotten the pics of the couple yet!) My sis had a baby 4 WEEKS EARLIER! She looks awesome.

What happened to the News?

So, I was in a hotel for two night last week. And, I had a flashback to my pre-baby self as I made coffee and turned on the Today show to listen as I got ready. (I used to travel quite a bit for work, so hotels feel pretty familiar to me. I have a sweet love for room service, in-room coffee makers, and late night TV when I am traveling for business.)

Anyway -- I am plucking and blow drying listening to Matt Lauer, Ann Curry (so beautiful to me), and Meredith (oh Katie, where did you go?) and the upcoming story is Guy Richie and Madonna's divorce. WTF? Is this news? This is why I stopped watching Good Day LA, I read enough trashy mags to get my fill -- once in awhile I want to feel a little informed. Maybe I should go more hardcore and stick to my old CNN but, I like a little music and cooking now and then.

So, apparently a celeb divorce is a top story these days. This has been happening slowly for the last 10 years and I am afraid we have arrived. I remember being in High School and going to the store to get a fashion mag -- yep -- just fashion, no celeb articles and just pics of models ( models with no names) were on the cover. Those days are no more. I am hoping I keep my sweet girl grounded because comparing yourself to airbrushed photos and the uber rich lifestyles can drive anyone crazy. I am going to work hard to make sure she knows that it is what is inside that truly counts -- no matter what others will do and say.

Don't get me wrong, I think people should care of themselves -- to be healthy and fit. But fit does not mean 90 lbs with bones popping out and healthy does not mean curves purchased from Dr. Jan (nothing against enhancement ladies -- I may go there one day -- you never know.)

Anyway -- I am trying to avoid a spiel about the media's affect on women's self image but I am afraid I have already gone there -- woops. It is just very true and I see how it affects me and want to do all I can to make sure my daughter grows up loving herself and aspiring to what she wants to be ( not what she feels she should be.) But, I have a feeling my little firecracker is going to do just fine. That is the good news.

First professional haircut!

So, I decided my Farrah Fawcett was starting to look like a Ragamuffin. I love her hair -- it is bouncy and curly and a sweet mess. But, the fam was getting on my case and then M started in after my trip to LA. I think when he was playing Mr Mom he had a playdate with our neighbor next door and his daughter (how cute I must say -- although I am sure it involved beer and sports in some dude-ish way) and I am sure someone commented.

So, before I got home from LA I made an appointment at Cool Cuts 4 Kids. My colleague ragged on me saying to was overpriced and gimmicky but her description of a play area and little cars for the kids to sit in made me more excited, sign me up! I love that cheesy shit.

So, off we went. I must say it was not as exciting as I dreamed. The place was dead (guess we went too early) and our "stylist" Therese was not sweet in the kid haircut kinda way I expected, (not easy on the eyes either but I am a bi-otch for mentioning it) -- but S was too damn cute.

Here is the play by play ... She is usually a very smiley kid so this experience cracked me up. (I do, however, blame some of the expressionless face on the video they were playing -- sometimes TV can zombify kids)

Sorry kid! The bangs will grow, I promise

Skylar has a boyfriend

A few actually. There have been some nasty fights for her affection. But, I think I am rooting for Cade (pictured below snuggling with his honey.)

Cade is the front runner. He is a blonde blue-eyed babe with a slight lisp and weakness for all things Transformers. He does cry a bit and I think S may boss him around later in life, but their connection is strong. And nothing wrong with wearining the pants with your man.

At his 5th B-day party on Tuesday night our lil jungle girl insisted on taking all of her clothes off -- her twist on a B-day stripper-gram. She ran around naked amongst a party of adults eating paninis and sipping mojitos. (S was one of 2 kids invited and only girl -- she is obviously special to Cade's heart). That's my girl...way to shake it up.

The Big Cousin

S just can't keep her hands off her new cousin. In fact, she tries to manhandle her. Here are some highlights... (Her shirt says, "I'm the Big Cousin - Skylar" - a gift from my sis)

She actually said "High five!" when we took this pic. Too cute..
A close up of the pumpkin. Sleeping is her strong suit.



Getting my hands on her! I must admit that my Baby Fever is in check. S takes up so much energy it is hard to imagine having another. If I had a sleeping beauty like my sis's baby though -- it may not be so tough. She is an angel and sleeps the day away. S had her eyes glued open all day from practically Day 1.